A couple years ago, my son played the roles of Benjamin and the butler in a spectacular production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. During one rehearsal, I struck up a conversation with a cast member who was new to theater. I was surprised to hear her say, “I’m not a singer or a dancer, but I’m having so much fun!” My immediate thought and response was “Oh yes you ARE a singer and a dancer! I see you up there singing and dancing your heart out!”
What led this cast member to believe she wasn’t a singer or a dancer? It was the identity she had created for herself—“I am this, but I’m not good enough to call myself that.”
Her response reminded me of how we often label ourselves, limiting not just our hobbies but also our potential. Just as this performer defined her own abilities in black and white terms, many of us question our own potential or believe we’re not far enough along to see ourselves a certain way. But what truly defines our capabilities?
Think about areas where we tend to limit ourselves: Is there a universal checklist that says, “This makes you a leader” or “This makes you someone who’s fit” or “This makes you successful?” Just like performers, we all grow and develop across a spectrum. Entrepreneurs can range from small business owners to billionaires. Athletes can be t-ball players or Olympians. What matters is how we see ourselves and whether we’re willing to grow beyond the boxes we’ve put ourselves in.It’s perfectly fine to decide not to pursue certain interests, like running marathons or painting. What matters is recognizing where our limiting beliefs are holding us back from our true potential.
The Boxes We Put Ourselves In
How many boxes do we put ourselves in?
- Not brave enough
- Too old
- A procrastinator
- Bad genes
- Lazy or undisciplined
- Too overweight
- Don’t fit in
- Too weak
- Not a natural leader
These boxes represent the beliefs we hold about ourselves. Often, we use these self-imposed labels as excuses that prevent us from becoming a fuller, stronger version of ourselves. Staying in these boxes feels comfortable, but it limits our growth. Growth requires us to leave the familiar and take risks—and that’s hard to do.
If you don’t feel confident in a certain area—whether it’s leadership, fitness, relationships, or even learning a new skill—it’s likely because you’ve adopted limiting beliefs that are keeping you tucked away in the box. Maybe you’ve decided you’re not capable, and as a result, you haven’t taken the necessary steps to grow. It’s also possible that you’re more committed to your comfort zone than to the idea of pushing through discomfort to achieve something new.
It doesn’t have to stay this way. You have the power to change your self-perception. It just requires an intentional effort.
Overcoming Limiting Beliefs
Most of these limiting beliefs are ingrained at the subconscious level, but we accept them as truths.
So what can we do?
Start by noticing your self-talk. When you catch yourself thinking or saying things like “I can’t” or “I’m not that kind of person,” remember that these thoughts are not definitive truths—they’re just stories we tell ourselves. Once we recognize them, we can make a conscious decision to reframe them into empowering beliefs.
What would happen if we challenged these limiting thoughts? Let’s flip some of these beliefs around:
Overweight
Limiting belief: “I’ve let myself go. Might as well eat more snacks. What difference does it make?”
Empowering belief: “I love myself the way I am AND I look forward to getting back to a thinner, stronger, and healthier version of myself.”
Lazy or undisciplined
Limiting belief: “I don’t have the energy or motivation. It’s just the way I am.”
Empowering belief: “I’ll start small and take baby steps. I can ask for help and accountability when I need it.”
Bad genes
Limiting belief: “I have a family history. It’s only a matter of time, so why bother?”
Empowering belief: “It’s just a predisposition. I’m going to work hard to shift the odds in my favor.”
Not brave enough
Limiting belief: “Other people have more courage than I do. It’s too risky.”
Empowering belief: “Courage grows with every small step. I can start now and build confidence along the way.”
Not a natural leader
Limiting belief: “I’m not the kind of person people look up to.”
Empowering belief: “Leadership is a skill that grows from self-awareness, emotional intelligence, positive influence, and courage. I can develop these qualities.”
Too old
Limiting belief: “It’s too late for me to make a big change or pursue a dream.”
Empowering belief: “It’s never too late to grow, and each step forward is part of the journey.”
Make sure your empowering belief is both believable AND empowering to you! Stay away from empty statements that don’t truly inspire, and opt instead for practical, empowering statements. The more you practice this mental shift, the more you’ll see your life transform, whether it’s in your career, health, relationships, or any other area of growth.
Putting in the Reps
Just like going to the gym once doesn’t make you fit, challenging your limiting beliefs once won’t change everything overnight. Consistency is key. It’s the small, daily actions that create real change over time.
Start by taking one small step—whether it’s committing to a new routine, having a tough conversation, or setting aside time for personal growth. Every action, no matter how small, moves you closer to becoming the person you want to be.
Remember: in life, we get either excuses or results. Which will you choose?
True transformation happens when you challenge these labels and consistently show up for yourself. So, let’s drop the excuses and start putting in the reps—because the life you want is on the other side of your excuses and is built by your actions and persistence.
Labels are powerful and are a core piece of shaping your reality. Start transforming your labels today.
Leaning into this – for me and to share with others. I know it’s so easy to get stuck in “that box” – I love the image of being in that box and the flip side – in my mind- was stretching and busting out❣️ Thanks for sharing.
I’m so glad to hear this Suzie! And I love that imagery – busting out of a box that can no longer contain you!!! Thank you for sharing this, and yes, please do share with others!! ❤️
Leaning into this – for me and to share with others. I know it’s so easy to get stuck in “that box” – I love the image of being in that box and the flip side – in my mind- was stretching and busting out❣️ Thanks for sharing.